If I am being honest...
In this episode ... If I am being honest: I let anxiety get the best of me this week! So, you know positive me from the last episode of if I am being honest??? Yeah, she got lost this week!! This is a picture of my weekend.. I literally went from this to this. On Sunday I got up
and I was feeling good! I got all done up and tried on my new closet candy clothes. I took some great pictures for my Facebook page and blog I was so excited. I had a great day! At about midnight on Sunday I started to feel yucky. I laid in bed trying to will it away... "You feel fine!" "This is nothing" ... Unfortunately it didn't work, within a matter of minutes I was uncontrollably vomiting. And when there was nothing left I kept heaving like there could be. It was bad. I haven't been that sick since my first liver infection.
If you aren't familiar with my story, I have stage 3 gastric cancer. They were able to cut the majority of it out by removing my gallbladder, part of my stomach, part of my pancreas and part of my intestines. They were not able to remove the part that is in the liver bile duct. We attacked that with 8 round of intensive chemo and 30 rounds of radiation. Before I started chemo though the bile duct got blocked by the tumor and a stint that they put in and I got a horrible infection in my liver. I was SO sick, I was in the CT machine while they were trying to figure out what was wrong just vomiting. It was ugly! I know nurses and doctors see a lot but it is still so embarrassing!!
Well this weekend when I got sick, my husband said I probably had food poising, my mom said it too... but my brain thought my liver is sick again. This thought came after I finally stopped thinking it was COVID!! Say it with me... STUPID COVID! I had myself in knots! So much so I called into my oncologist and went in and had my labs run! Turns out everything is fine.. my labs look great! In an instant God used the people at St. Luke's to say: Albre, I GOT YOU! I ADORE my nurses at St. Luke's they are the best team EVER! I walked in today and all my favorite people were there! They all told me how cute my hair looked and encouraged me that everything would be fine. I left feeling so much better and when I got the call that my labs were good, I was like dang it, they were right. It was all good.
It was my own reminder to myself ... What do I always say? Say it with me FOCUS ON THE GOOD! (face palm!)