Cancer Hair ..If I am being honest
If I am being honest... I MISS MY HAIR, and I feel selfish saying that! So, I was in my husbands office today and in his office he has a couple of pictures of me and the family and such... Of course they are pictures of me with long gorgeous hair. I think it kind of hit a cord with me today. I just kept looking at this picture and I think it bugged me! I decided to do a post about my hair And it is amazing how looking back can changed your attitude. I can see God at work in HAIR guys!! I started rummaging through pics for this blog and God reminded me ... Albre, I was in this!
This picture is me, right after my big surgery! I had just had my gallbladder, part of my stomach, part of my pancreas and part of my intestines REMOVED! And I survived! And I remember this day vividly because my mom made me pancakes! And I could EAT them! I hadn't been able to eat in MONTHS...But my hair was on point! Gah! ... God did something big that week - he guided the surgeons hands to give me LIFE! To bring me back home to my family... and pancakes!
This one is of me after my first hair cut! On the day they told me I would have to have chemo, a nurse told me to cut my hair so that it wouldn't be such a shock to me!... Um, it was March -2020 and all the salons had just been shut down! What the heck was I going to do?? God gave me Ashley! My long time friend who had cut and styled my hair for years ... She came to my house and cut my hair. This was how much we cut off that day! Ashley would help me cut it one more time before the actual shave. She was always a smile and a source of encouragement to me ... And still is as she keeps me looking good still.
This black and white photo is from the day that my husband shaved my head because my hair was falling out ALL OVER the house!! He kept stopping mid shave to hug me or kiss me and tell me that I was beautiful. I was crying my eyes out. I look at that picture now and I see this frail scared person and I can't help but realize how far God has brought me! And I am SO THANKFUL for that man hugging me in this picture!! I remember sleeping on the couch because it was easier with my chemo bag hanging from me and he would sleep on the floor of the living room so that I wouldn't be alone! MY ROCK.
Here is a girl who tried to make bald work... let's face it, it wasn't my thing! Some people can rock it but I just never felt comfortable. Even sharing this photo is hard for me!
I was much more comfortable in a hat... so I found LOTS and LOTS of hats, and wraps to cover up my head! Plus I am always cold so it helped... but once again, I am thankful that my husband never cared how many hats I bought and always encouraged me no matter what! My mom encouraged me to try on a hat initially and I immediately found my confidence again! ... I feel like God sent me that hat! I guess all this is to say ... If I am being honest, I tried to have a pity party today and God used it to say LOOK HOW FAR YOU HAVE COME! If I can encourage you to reflect and look back I hope it helps you to. Because when you reflect sometimes you can see spaces where God was at work in your life. Sometimes it's through hair. Now as I look at my hair I see GROWTH... I see a person who is getting stronger. A person who keeps FIGHTING! And if I am being honest... I needed that reminder today!